What Susan Saint James Did After Losing Her Son Teddy Still Breaks Hearts: A Mother’s Strength in the Face of Unimaginable Grief
For Susan Saint James, life changed forever on November 28, 2004. The beloved actress, known to millions for her performances in McMillan & Wife and Kate & Allie, faced every parent's worst nightmare when her 14-year-old son, Teddy Ebersol, died in a devastating private plane crash in Colorado.
The tragedy left a family shattered. Teddy's father, Dick Ebersol, and his older brother Charlie survived the accident but suffered serious injuries. The pilot and a flight attendant also lost their lives. Susan was not aboard the aircraft, having left the plane during a stop in Colorado.
In the years that followed, Susan's response to the loss revealed a side of her that audiences could never have fully understood from watching her on television. Friends and family would remember not only her heartbreak, but also the extraordinary care she showed toward the people around her. Even while grieving the youngest child she had lost, she tried to help her husband and surviving children find the strength to face the days ahead.
Now, following Susan's death at the age of 80 in October 2026, those memories have taken on an even deeper meaning. Friends have spoken about her courage, her warmth and the way she kept Teddy's memory alive. Their recollections offer a moving picture of a woman whose life was defined not only by her career, but by her devotion to her family.
The tragedy that changed everything
Susan had built a successful career over several decades. She earned an Emmy for her work on The Name of the Game, became widely recognised as Sally McMillan opposite Rock Hudson in McMillan & Wife, and later won another generation of admirers as Kate McArdle in Kate & Allie.
But away from the cameras, her most important role was being a mother.
She and Dick Ebersol had three sons together: Charlie, Willie and Teddy. Teddy was the youngest, and at just 14 years old, he was still at the beginning of his life. His death was therefore not simply the loss of a beloved family member. It was the loss of a future filled with possibilities, milestones and experiences his family had expected to share with him.
The family had been travelling after Thanksgiving when the aircraft made a stop in Colorado. Susan got off there to go to the family's second home. The plane later crashed during takeoff as it continued its journey.
Dick and Charlie survived, but both were seriously injured. Teddy did not.
The circumstances were devastating, and the emotional consequences would remain with the family long after the immediate crisis had passed. In a moment, ordinary family life had been transformed into something none of them could have imagined.
A mother's grief that could not simply disappear
In February 2006, Susan and members of her family appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show to speak publicly about the crash and its aftermath.
The interview offered a rare glimpse into the private pain behind the headlines. Susan spoke about how difficult it had been to face Teddy's absence. One detail was especially heartbreaking: she said she had not been able to touch his clothes or move his belongings.
"I've never touched his clothes, I've never been able to move his things," she explained during the interview.
Those words revealed how grief can become attached to the smallest details of everyday life. A child's clothes, a bedroom, familiar possessions and ordinary household objects can suddenly carry an overwhelming emotional weight. They are reminders of someone who should still be there.
For Susan, moving Teddy's belongings was not a simple household task. It meant confronting a reality she was struggling to accept. His things remained connected to his presence, and leaving them untouched may have been one way of holding on to the life they had shared.
Her experience also showed that grief does not follow a predictable timetable. More than a year had passed since the crash, yet the pain was still deeply present. There was no neat moment when everything became easier, and no simple action that could make the loss feel smaller.
The family interview also showed how the surviving members were trying to support one another. Dick and Charlie had endured the physical trauma of the crash, while Willie and the other members of the family were left to process the loss in their own ways. Each person had experienced the tragedy differently, but all were connected by the absence of Teddy.
The eulogy that became a message of love
One of the most moving details about Susan's response emerged after her death, when her family shared memories of how she had behaved in the weeks following the accident.
According to the family's statement, Susan delivered Teddy's eulogy as a note to each of her other children and to her husband. Rather than focusing only on her own sorrow, she used the moment to offer words intended to help the people she loved begin to heal.
The family described this as one of her defining acts. They said that even in the deepest grief of her life, she put everyone else first.
It is difficult to imagine the strength required to speak at the funeral of a child. A parent who has lost a son or daughter is facing a pain that words cannot adequately describe. Yet Susan found a way to speak not only about Teddy, but also to the people who were struggling beside her.
Her eulogy was remembered as an expression of love and care. It did not mean that she had overcome her grief. It did not mean that she was somehow unaffected by the tragedy. Instead, it showed that she was trying to make room for the needs of her family while carrying a burden of her own.
Sportscaster Bob Costas, a longtime friend of the family, later described the eulogy as magnificent. He recalled that it was possible for something so heartbreaking to be beautiful at the same time.
That reaction helps explain why the moment stayed with those who witnessed it. Susan's words were not remembered simply because she was a well-known actress. They were remembered because they reflected the love of a mother trying to comfort her family after an unbearable loss.
She chose to remember Teddy through the life he lived
Over time, Susan's friends noticed that she continued to speak about Teddy with love and gratitude. She did not allow the circumstances of his death to become the only story told about him.
Tom Werner, a television producer and longtime family friend, recalled that Susan transformed her grief into a celebration of Teddy's life.
He said that when Susan and Dick visited Fenway Park, she would often talk about how grateful she was for the time she had shared with her son. She also enjoyed remembering Teddy's love of the Boston Red Sox.
That detail may seem small, but it reveals something important about the way she chose to remember him. Teddy was not only the boy who died in a plane crash. He was a son with interests, passions, jokes, memories and a personality that had brought joy to the people around him.
Talking about his favourite team allowed Susan to remember an ordinary part of his life. It brought the focus back to the child she knew and loved, rather than leaving the tragedy as the only thing associated with his name.
Werner described her attitude as life-affirming. Although Teddy's life had been painfully short, Susan believed the time they had shared was still something to be treasured.
This did not erase the sadness. It simply meant that gratitude and grief could exist together.
For parents who have lost children, remembering the happiness that came before the tragedy can be an important part of keeping a loved one's memory alive. Susan's friends saw her doing exactly that: speaking about Teddy, remembering what he enjoyed and making sure his life remained part of the family's story.
The people around her saw extraordinary strength
Susan's ability to support her family made a lasting impression on those who knew her.
Family friend Sandy Montag remembered the way she carried herself after the tragedy. He spoke about her role as a source of strength for the family and the way she continued to keep Teddy's memory alive.
He also emphasised that the family had continued to honour Teddy together.
Montag's memories were not limited to the difficult years following the crash. He remembered Susan as an uplifting person who remained warm and devoted despite everything she had experienced.
He had suffered the loss of his own mother, and he said that conversations with Susan sometimes made him feel as though he had a mother again. It was a deeply personal description of the comfort she could offer.
Bob Costas also remembered her generosity. Although she had been a major television star during the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s, he said she never behaved as though fame placed her above other people.
She was friendly, interested in others and genuinely curious about the lives of the people she met. Her warmth was not reserved for celebrities or important industry figures. Friends described her as someone who could make almost anyone feel welcome.
That quality was especially meaningful when considered alongside her experience of loss. Susan had known profound heartbreak, yet the people who remembered her did not describe a woman who had become distant or closed off. They remembered someone who continued to connect with others.
Family remained at the centre of her life
After Kate & Allie ended in 1989, Susan largely stepped away from acting. Rather than continuing to pursue the demands of a full-time television career, she chose to concentrate on raising her younger children and building a life away from Hollywood.
She made occasional appearances in later years, including roles in The Drew Carey Show, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and Suits. But acting was no longer the central focus of her everyday life.
She also remained involved in causes that mattered to her. Susan was a longtime supporter of Special Olympics, volunteering and serving on its board. In 1998, she helped establish Seedling and Pip, a baby gift business with a focus on books.
These activities reflected interests beyond her work as an actress. She valued relationships, family and opportunities to contribute to the lives of others.
Her marriage to Dick Ebersol also endured difficult periods. The couple briefly filed for divorce in 2002 before reconciling later that year. In a 2002 interview, Susan spoke positively about their second chance together. Dick would later describe her in his memoir as the greatest partner he had ever had.
Their shared experience of losing Teddy became part of the family's history, but it was not the entirety of their relationship or their lives. They continued raising their children, maintaining friendships and finding ways to move forward.
Her final years brought renewed attention to her legacy
Susan Saint James died on October 26, 2026, at the age of 80, after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Her death prompted renewed appreciation of her television career and the personal qualities that friends and family said made her so special.
Her family remembered her as a person who gave generously of her time and energy. They described someone who instinctively noticed people who needed encouragement and who made others feel important.
Their statement also returned to the loss of Teddy. They recalled the eulogy she delivered in the weeks after the crash and the way she tried to provide comfort to her husband and children even while experiencing the deepest grief of her life.
That memory offered a powerful insight into the woman behind the familiar television roles.
For audiences, Susan had been a talented performer whose work brought humour, warmth and personality to the screen. For those closest to her, she was a mother, wife, friend and a person who made time for others.
Her friends' recollections following her death also made clear that Teddy remained an important part of her life. She remembered his love of baseball, spoke about the time they had together and continued to celebrate the person he had been.
A story about love that outlasts loss
There is no simple lesson in the death of a child. No amount of courage can make such a loss fair, and no passage of time can guarantee that the pain will disappear.
Susan Saint James never suggested otherwise. Her public comments after the crash showed how difficult it was to face Teddy's absence. The untouched clothes and belongings were reminders that some parts of grief cannot be rushed.
But the memories shared by her family and friends reveal another side of her journey. She found ways to comfort those she loved, speak about her son and celebrate the happiness he had brought into their lives.
Her story is not one of a mother who simply moved on. It is the story of a mother who continued living while carrying the memory of a child she would always miss.
Perhaps that is why the details of what Susan did after losing Teddy continue to touch people. Her eulogy, her gratitude for the time they shared and her willingness to speak about his love of the Red Sox all point to the same thing: she wanted Teddy to be remembered for his life, not only for the tragedy that ended it.
Susan's career gave her a place in television history. But the memories her loved ones have shared reveal a legacy that went far beyond the screen. They remember a woman who remained kind, devoted and deeply connected to her family, even after experiencing a loss no parent should ever have to endure.
And through those memories, Teddy's life continues to be remembered too.
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